Blood and Hope
by Black Lotus Flower
Summary: The Dawn Brigade continue their quest to help Daein, but Leonardo suffers as he deals with the lives he takes and struggles to keep up with his comrades. Nobody ever wins in war. Not the victor, the loser, and certainly not anyone in between.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is meant for the Dark humor story challenge. If anyone else is interested, details are under my profile. I'm going to try to keep him in character, but…no promises. And now I will do something that is very common in my author's note: beg for reviews. Please review! I like getting input on stories. I'm not sure if this will be my best work, but I hope you like it! (This is before the war in RD.) Italics are flashbacks.**

The Dawn Brigade. We are a small group dedicated to the rebirth of Daein. The Begnion soldiers call us thieves. The impoverished of our homeland call us heroes. This is my second week among their ranks. My logic tells me that we are heroes because we free our people from oppresion, but with every life I steal, I start to think more and more that maybe some of those enemy soldiers have a point. If only a little.

It seemed like we walked continuously to get nowhere. Somehow, no matter where we were, conflict found us. It wasn't enough to help the people. It was our job to fight for them. I always hated violence. When I joined, I knew full well that I would have to take the lives of other living beings. I had never thought that it would be as difficult as it was. All that had to be done was shoot an arrow through them, right? Until you have to look into the man's eyes.

It was the first time that I joined them in battle. It was a small affair compared to many that they handled. There were a few Begnion soldiers who were bullying the village we were staying in, during the night no less. We had to chase them off. What else could we do?

"_Aw, man! These Begnion soldiers just don't give up! Couldn't they wait until morning?" Edward yawned as we entered the streets. He looked ready to fall back asleep, his eyes lids still drooping even. I didn't know how he intended to fight when we couldn't find the strength to fully open his eyes._

"_Everyone is awake in the morning. They took us off guard."_

"_Stealing from a poor village! That's just low!" He let out another loud yawn. "Time to take some of these louts out!" I watched as he charged at the first one he saw come out of a cabin. He had no hesitation, no regret. He dodged the man's spear with one quick sidestep and thrust his sword through the soldier's stomach, pushing it downward until it looked as if the man would be ripped in two. As if it were nothing, he pulled out his blade, letting the once living human's blood gush onto the street in one giant pool. He had no regret._

_I stood still, as if I were only a statue, a spectator meant to observe and nothing more. A thrust of Sothe's dagger. One fell. A swing of Nolan's axe. Another fell face first, cold and dead into his own blood. A wave of Micaiah's hand, and a third collapsed lifeless into the streets. Even our leader, as peaceful as she was, thought nothing of striking down her enemies. Then there was me. Bow in one hand, an arrow in another, but with no action. What the soldiers were doing was wrong. I knew that. I wanted them to pay. I felt that anger yet no matter how much I wanted it to overtake me, it wouldn't. I wasn't sure if I was capable of it. I watched the scene unfold before me and could ask myself only one question; could I become a killer?_

"_Leonardo! Look out!" Micaiah's voice called from a distance behind me. I awoke from my trance, seeing first hand what a mistake it was to view a fight as a spectator when in fact I was apart of it. A Begnion soldier ran towards me, sword drawn. I had to…._

_Instinct took over. My hand raised the arrow to my bow. It pulled back the taut wire and released it, all before I could think for myself. Before I could blink, the man fell at my feet, directly on top of my feet, dead. The impact from hitting the ground forced the arrow through his chest and the head stuck out from his back, the tip and edges red and dripping. The worst part of all was nobody acknowledged it. Neither his teammates or mine cared. He was dead, so he was no longer an issue for them to be concerned with._

_The world continued around me as the body of the man I killed lie bleeding. It was hardly visible in the dark but something about it's presence made me aware of it. I felt it percolate into my shoes, wetting my feet. I froze, an odd twisting running through my stomach as my soles grew colder and colder._

_I dropped my bow, crossing my arms in front of my face and grasping fists of my own hair. My knees began to shake as I began to realize all that had happened. I killed someone. I took his life. I, too, had no hesitation to take the life of a man who lived for years. Whimpering. I was whimpering. Everything spun around me until I fell to the ground like all the Begnions. The man was still at my feet. And he was still warm._

_Nolan grasped me under my arms, pulling me up onto my feet, "Are you all right?" I had no response to give._

All of it had been a week ago. We had found ourselves in minor situations since then. Begnion soldiers seeing us and giving pursuit was all it amounted to. All we had to do was run. As long as no innocents were being harmed, we would not put them in the path of danger. If they were not being attacked, we would not fight.

I couldn't forget that first battle. Could I kill? Yes, I could. Could I control my killing? It happened without me doing anything, or so it felt like. My body moved on its own accord needing no consent from my brain. Was that what battle was like? Was that how the others fought? It couldn't be. Their style was too calculated. It was just--

"Hello? Leonardo, ya there?" Edward nudged me with his elbow. "You're staring at the wall again. Really, it isn't that interesting.

"Oh, sorry. I was… thinking." I find myself doing more and more of that as of late. It wasn't the first time during that meal that someone had commented on me seeming absent.

"Are you thinking of that battle again?" Micaiah looked at me compassionately. Those eyes of hers always held so much kindness and concern. Even her voice was soft and timid. Listening to her speak so normally, so calmly after watching men fall by her hand almost made me feel that killing was all right. If done for certain reasons.

"No…" I lied. I didn't want to be a liability to the group and I certainly didn't want them to see me as one. "I go into a daze a lot. Please don't mind me."

"If you can't deal with seeing a battle you have no business being here." Sothe's comment didn't surprise me. In fact, I'm surprised that he hadn't said it sooner. He didn't strike me as the type that could withhold his judgment,

"I'm fine, really. I'm just slow to adjust. There's a lot of traveling involved with this, isn't there?" I decided to get off the topic of battle. My brooding was enough. Speaking of it wouldn't do any good for anybody.

"Goes with the job." Nolan picked up his cup and took another sip. "Never know where the next battle and the next group of people who need you are going to be."

Still it led back to battle. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't escape that thought. Still, it was the way he phrased it that made it better. "The next group of people who need you." That was why I learned how to use a bow. I wanted to protect those around me.

The bow could help me do that. I could save so many lives were I to become strong.

But it took lives, too.

To keep going or to quit, no matter what I do, I'm the same.

I'll be a murderer.

"Yipes! What was that?!" I jumped up with Edward but for different reasons. I didn't even know what he was talking about. All I knew was that it was another interruption to my thought.

"Soldiers again? Why don't they leave the Daein people alone? The villagers aren't their slaves." Nolan got up and took his axe from the corner. He was so nonchalant. It was that common of an occurrence for him. His face was so blank that if I didn't know better, I would think that he was going to do some basic chore. "Well, let's go show those Begnion dogs that Daein is not theirs to torment, shall we?"

"Man, these guys have the worst timing. Before when we were sleeping, now when we're eating… They keep disturbing us in the middle of my favorite things!" Edward, too seemed very comfortable with the lifestyle. It was strange watching him pull his sword out for battle. He was so confident and very comfortable with what we did. We were the same age. Why was it that I couldn't get passed it?

It didn't matter now. It was all going to start again. My doubts would have to wait until later, for better or for worse.

**And that's the end of it. Please, please, please review! I love both compliments and criticism! (Just please don't give me the type of criticism that consists of saying "you suck" and nothing else. That tends to put a damper on my day.) Any comments or suggestions on the story are appreciated and I'll be truly grateful for them. Anonymous reviews are welcome, too. So take the few seconds to give me some feedback. Then I won't have to feel like a loser.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to those who reviewed! I can't tell if it's worth posting a story without any feedback. So school's back in and all that can mean is slower updates and tired writing. If you catch any major errors, please let me know. As always, please R&R! **

Blood. The Begnion soldiers had no concern for the Daein people. Because they wouldn't give up what little they had, the tyrant army made blood spill into the once bustling streets. Men and women. Children and elderly. Everyone alike. They weren't willing to spare any. It never ceases to amaze me that people are selfish enough to kill for wealth and wealth alone.

The others didn't hesitate to rush to the aid of the villagers that fought to keep what they properly owned. I swore to myself after the last battle that I wouldn't, either. No matter what I did, I would be a murderer. The innocent. The unjust. Those were my options. Why should the innocent be the ones to suffer?

I fixed my bow so that I was ready to shoot an arrow once I had a decent target. My hands still shook and my heart pounded in unison with the step of my feet. This time… could I do it while conscious of my actions… This time…

"You're not going to break on us like last time, are you?" Nolan came up behind me, interrupting that voice in my head that recited my thoughts. I grinned at him solemnly and without a word shook my head. I refused to be a hindrance.

Battles move on in a massive blur in my mind. This one was no different than the last in that respect. Every target there was to shoot…no, maybe I was seeing no targets at all. I shot at all those images that my eyes saw as nothing but dancing shadows in the darkness, really not knowing if it was an enemy at all. My instinct knows how to do what I must. All I ever have to do is follow it, right?

The cries, the screams, the sound of people choking around me as they breathed their final breath. It all melted together into one horrendous cacophony. To distinguish one voice from another… it was a skill that I couldn't call upon by will.

Another arrow.

Another cry from somewhere around me.

Was it my arm that caused it?

Too many cries of sorrow. Was it all necessary? Too many…"

"Dang, I don't wanna die this way!" That yell. It was more than familiar to me. The sound of it pierced through the others.

I saw Edward grope at the ground in a desperate search for his sword through the thick blackness that enveloped the area. The Begnion soldier towered over him, ready to bring down his lance and finish the skirmish. This shot was clear. Everyone else still ran past me in blurs but that one man was as clear as I could hope for him to be.

Another arrow to the bow.

Another hit.

Another body that I watched fall to the ground, nobody from either side recognizing that anyone had fallen at all. Why did these people have to pick a profession that required their lives to end this way?

I saw his sword close to him, next to a bush. I picked it up and handed it to him. I could feel his shaking through the weapon as we both grasped it. The confidence he had going into battle, that style of his that I so admired? All because he had not yet come to terms with the fact that he himself was too, able to be defeated.

"Hey, you really just saved me." The quiver of his voice told of his fear without the help of his grip.

"Be more careful. We're not the ones that are suppose to get killed, remember?"

"Yeah…" He ran back into the fray. Battle was unforgiving. That was the first lesson I learned and I learned it very quickly. Were someone too weak to provide a good show, they were discarded. That was what entertained war and let it grow in ambition. I could only hope that he would be more cautious. I don't feel that I'm strong enough for him to rely on. Not yet.

I tried to walk past the man who lie bleeding alone but to not look…to not stop…to not acknowledge someone was dieing right in front of me…that's something I still can't do. He grabbed my ankle, looking up at me with pleading eyes. What could he want with me? The person who…I began to kneel next to him before I could know any better.

"Please…" His voice was hoarse and choked as blood splattered around his lips. I didn't mean to leave him with a wound that would only make his death longer. I had missed my mark… "Please… the satchel on my belt…. take it to…. My family…. The first cabin….in Begnion's border town….please."

There was no way I could properly react. This man was my enemy. Why would he address such a thing to me? Something clanged together as I picked it up. I didn't bother checking it before attaching it to my own belt. "Why would you give it to me? I'm the one who…" Its harder to say it to the face of your victim.

"No one… from my army… would do it. I don't…know if you will, but…." I cringed as he coughed. "This is the… only chance…they have at getting… this." What I heard in the satchel were coins… They must have been his earnings. "The senate… they force us… to fight. It is….the only way we can… support our families… They tax everything so high….this is the only occupation…that pays enough. Please…. I only….only wanted to…my family…" He never finished the statement.

To kill the innocent.

To kill the unjust.

Those were my options.

And there was a very thin line that separated them.

If there was one at all.

**That's the end of chapter two. Now I need to grovel for reviews again, pathetic, huh? Please review. I tend to stop posting what I write if there isn't a large interest in it. Reviewing is easy. Anonymous reviews are fine, too. (For those who don't have an account.) Please don't tell me that I fail but constructive criticism is welcomed. The higher the interest the quicker I'll update, so…review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok. So here's chapter 3. I'm glad that some people seem to like the story! I hope it stays good enough for you to read!**

"And why should we return it? He was the enemy. It could be a trap for all we know." Sothe objected just as I knew he would. It wasn't a matter of it being a trap at all. For him, it was more gold in our pockets and simply easier if we were to keep it. Something about that mentality…it made me angrier. I expected it before I had brought the topic up but to have it so blatantly expressed…

"It's not a trap! They don't need us to come to them! They find us easily enough! It was his last request and I'm going to fulfill it. If that means I quit, then I thank you for your employment but there are other things that need doing." To budge on such a thing… I already stole someone from their family. A husband or a father… A provider. A person that they may have looked up to, or maybe he didn't get along with them at all. Maybe I robbed them of their only chance to be at peace with one another. The truth is I might never know. But the last thing I was going to do was steal something else from them. The Dawn Brigade… we were often called thieves by the Begnion soldiers. I often think of what that label really means. Our part certainly isn't all just the fairy tale of Robin Hood as the others liked to think of it.

"Both of you, please calm down." Micaiah scolded us both but she did so so lightly that it felt like she wasn't being critical at all. I know our arguing seemed so pointless to her. How could it not? We won a battle, in their minds. Why then start fighting one another? "Sothe, let Leonardo decide for himself. Gold isn't important to us. We have everything we need." She could see right through his excuse as well as I could.

"Begnion is hunting us!" He protested. I think he would cease to exist were he to be simple for a change. "We can't go traipsing across their borders and expect to be safe!"

"Hm. Seems we can't go anywhere safely these days." Nolan spoke up as well. They supported the idea… What a relief that was. To think of them in such a negative way was not something that I wanted to do.

"We don't have the time, either." Sothe continued to droll on and on. We didn't have time? We wandered aimlessly until we found someone who needed us. We really had no where in mind. What could he mean by mentioning time? He couldn't be referring to that abstract concept of which he was wasting with meaningless objections…

"Then here's what we're gonna do!" His eyes shone brightly. I love the look Edward gets when he has an idea. He beams like he just solved a problem no one else could and speaks, for once, in a formal manner. Or, at least what could be considered formal for him. "You guys go on ahead and Leonardo and I will go return the gold. We'll catch up with you later."

"What makes you think you'll be able to find us? Daein is a big country." He was determined that he was going to stop us. What business of his was it?

"Pfft! Apparently we aren't that hard to find! We'll just listen for people talking about the infamous Dawn Brigade and follow the rumors!" Edward seemed to feel some conviction behind the situation as well. He wasn't as thoughtless as I had originally assumed him to be…

"The two of you want to go into enemy territory alone? You'll die. There's no way you'll survive by yourselves if you get attacked."

"Let it go, Sothe. The two of them will be fine. Nobody will recognize them apart from us." Nolan stood up, setting both his hands on the surface of the table. All the argument did was aggravate him. "Now why don't we all get some rest? It wasn't our longest battle but it was a battle none-the-less." To them it wasn't their longest battle but for me it would live forever in my memory. That soldier…that man….he would never fully fade to nothing. Not as long as I still breathed and was able to remember.

I went into the other room that served as quarters for both Edward and I. He had gone out somewhere, even after such a day. I really envy his energy. No, maybe I don't. I can't even imagine being that hyper active. Blankets never felt so comforting. The satchel rest under my pillow. I didn't honestly believe that Sothe would try to take it, but there was no point in taking the risk when it was so easy to be careful. There was nothing else left to do…. Exhaustion really makes itself known suddenly and forcefully…..

…….

"Leonardo! C'mon! Get up! The sun's already out! We should probably get going…." That familiar voice…the same hyperactive Edward. I sat up, then stood up. My body was awake but my mind was hardly out of slumber. I snatched the satchel and my bow, then turned back to him.

"Is it really morning already?" That was a stupid question. If it wasn't then the sun wouldn't have been out.

"Yes! Micaiah even packed some food for us! The earlier we leave the easier it'll be to catch up with everyone else later." He was right. The border town of Begnion wasn't that far from where we were. If we walked for three hours we could get there. Leaving earlier than everyone else would mean we would travel farther before they left so we would find them quicker, too.

We left and walked in silence for the entire trip. He had attempted to make simple conversation with me but I was almost completely unresponsive. I don't know. He might have said some things that I just didn't acknowledge. My thoughts were what consumed me. I couldn't stop wondering. Who was he? When I looked into his eyes… I didn't see any trace of a soldier. And the life that seemed to flash through them… it didn't seem like those memories were full of war and other's misery. He wasn't at all what I was taught an enemy was. Actually, he reminded me of my own father. That made it worse. Even in his final moments he thought of his family. What if he did have children? Especially young ones… If he did, could I live with myself?

I held up the satchel and stared at it. That was it. I carried the last present the man I killed would ever give. All because of me.

Who was he? What memories did his family share with him? What was it that would make him live on forever… Did he have a wife who together they went on long walks every night?….or sons who he used to go fishing with? What about a daughter who vied for the attention of her doting father whenever he stepped foot through the door? Memories like that…what makes time with a person so special… No matter what memories they had with them, all it would ever be is memories and nothing more. I took away the chance for any more to come to life.

What would my life had been like if my father was taken from me? Mother…she wouldn't have been the same. She would have spent her time mourning him, with all her spare hours devoted to missing her beloved. She never would have had time to lull us to sleep or sit with us when we were ill… all of those memories would have been gone. Or my sister. When she was little she always sat on my father's lap and he would tell us all stories. Even when we grew she still sat with him every night, just sitting next to him if there was nothing to talk about. Sitting, just for the sake of sitting and spending time together. That was what father meant to her. And the three of us boys… Right up until I left home we all spent every day together. Fishing, hunting…everything was a family activity. My father was the one who even taught me how to use a bow.

Was that man the same to his family?

What had I done?

"Leonardo? Are you all right?" Edward broke me from my trance. I looked forward, picking my eyes up from the ground for the first time in a while.

"Yes…"

"'Cause we're here." We had just reached the gate. If that was what we would call it. It was so poorly tended to that it had started to fall off.

"I'll be back."

"You don't want me to come?"

"No." My answer was more curt than I had meant for it to be. It was something I had to do alone. So I walked up to the door of the first house, just as he had told me to and knocked.

My heart sunk. A young woman came out, a baby in her arms. Two little girls clung to her apron and the eldest, her son, peered curiously from the back round. Even the oldest. He couldn't have been older than seven. He was a husband. A father. And maybe even everything else I thought he was.

"Hello? I don't believe I've seen you before. Can I help you?"

I held the satchel out in front of me. "Your husband… he told me to bring this to you." My voice came out awkwardly. It amazed me that I was able to speak at all.

"He did? Oh, he sent payment home early." She didn't know. "It's those blasted debt collectors. They've been robbing our village blind. Samuel got worried when I sent him a letter about it. I told him we'd manage until he came home again." Samuel was his name. I didn't know what to say. I only nodded. "It's horrible that the counsel is making you boys fight like this. Look at you. You're too young for this. I thought I was going to go crazy when they first made Samuel leave. He was never a fighter and we had just been married… but I keep going knowing that he'll someday return. The little ones really miss their father." Her talking was like a curse. It was a new wound with every word she said. "…Would you like to rest for a while? You don't look so good."

"No…I'm fine…"

"Are they keeping you on that tight of a schedule that you can't even tend to your health? It doesn't surprise me, though. At least tell me who you are."

"I'm the man who killed him." I choked out and then ran. I didn't want to see her reaction.

**Is anyone depressed now? Well, onto basic business. If you like this story, you should review and there will be more. If you want to make me smile and make me feel like I accomplished something, you should review so I don't feel like I stink. If you want me to stop asking for reviews, you should review so I don't have to. Namely, review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**First, I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing this story. Your support and comments mean a lot and because of that I'll keep updating. Because I couldn't send them a thank you message, I want to thank Me 0 and Saddened 0 here. Thanks again!**

The walk would take forever, or so it seemed. In truth, walking back felt like it was taking longer than what going there had. Not only because we had to catch up to the others but due to the mood in general. That was what his family was like… I took someone very important from them and then I was still too much a coward to stay and see what the woman's reaction would be. It would have served me right were she to scream at me, to cause a scene and smack me. After all, I had forever changed the course of her life. But instead I just left, not willing to accept the consequences of my actions. And I think that only made it harder.

Edward didn't even attempt to speak to me. He hadn't been there when I gave back the satchel but my facial expression upon my returning told him everything he needed to know. I was miserable and every fiber of my being presented itself as such. It made me sick that the woman had been so kind to me. I didn't even have the mind to ask her name.

Seeing their village had made one thing evident; Daein was not the only place suffering because of the Begnion government. I often looked upon the Daein villages and thought about how they had become so impoverished, so worn down. But looking at one of Begnion's, there's hadn't brought to ruin. There was no one to do such things to them. It had just always been like that. Yet the villagers were forced to fight to protect the very thing that was destroying them. In the end, it wasn't even the enemy that we were fighting. We fought against people who shared the same foe as us, never maiming in the least what it was that we wished to overtake. In fact, we were helping the Begnion government with what it probably wanted. Killing opposition from both ends of the spectrum, both from their own country and the one they had in many ways enslaved. All efforts that we did to benefit ourselves in reality worked against us. Doing nothing would be our downfall. No matter what we did, we accomplished the same as we would running on a wheel. We would never get to where we wanted to be, only exhausting ourselves in the process but if we were to stop running altogether we would be flung off and thrown out of the race entirely. In war, falling down just isn't an option.

What had started it all? I know if I were to ask anyone that aloud they would regard it as a dumb question, for the most relevant answer was a very obvious one to come about. It all started because Begnion took control of the Daein people. But why was that? Another obvious question. But were the same question asked over and over again it would become increasingly harder to answer. In the end the question would become, "why does man subject other men to such agonies?" All and all we begin the same and only change because of those we meet and the experiences that we go through. What if there were no countries to defend or take over? Would it be more peaceful were all men to live as one giant mass? No. Then they would bicker in numerous miniature quarrels that involved a small group. The real question was why man always felt it necessary to gain more and through violence at that. The more man tries to progress, the more obvious it becomes that he is destined to never rise above any of his original, primal instincts. In the end, he would only find a more destructive way of carrying them out.

"Leonardo….? Are you all right?" Edward finally asked me as we crossed through the village that the others had been in when we separated from them. I looked up from my trance. Did I really stare at the ground that entire time? I wonder if I even blinked….

"Yes. Of course…" I heard my own voice trail off as I looked back towards the ground. If I ever told a lie so obvious it wouldn't come to mind.

"You've been acting really weird ever since our last battle. Somethin' happen?"

Did he honestly have to ask that? We had just returned what had happened. Did he really have no sympathy? Or did he really not understand? I had to believe it was the last one. Edward wasn't a person who struck me as heartless. "Doesn't it bother you? Y'know, all this battling?"

"Naw! That's the way to improve! How would I ever get stronger without experience?"

This was all one, big sparring match to him. "What about the people you face? Is it really worth hurting them just to test your skill?'

"Not test. Improve! My skill is WAY beyond testing. But why should it bother me? They attacked Daein first."

"But the Begnion government is making their civilians do it…"

"Huh? Where'd you get that idea?"

I had learned that only from that woman. I forgot he hadn't been told that. "When I returned the satchel, she told me. They were making their own people go fight. Not all of the soldiers are even willing. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Well, it's… uncomforting. But we gotta do what we gotta do! It's them or us. The Daein people didn't ask for it, either."

And that was all it took for him to justify it. "It would make more sense if we were to work together."

"You have to know that isn't going to happen. There's probably some prize on us. Money's enough to keep them going."

"We're not accomplishing anything this way. We're killing the civilians. That has no affect on the government and they're the ones who're destroying Daein."

"That's true…" He paused. The reality of what I said must have actually made sense to him. "but we have to do what we can. If we stop fighting Begnion then our people get massacred and robbed. That ain't fair, either."

"I know it's not…" I was angry with him and envious at the same time that he could accept it all so easily. To him it was like making a move in a game. If the strategy was wrong, so what? It had results that followed. The only thing was we needed different results. "When the man's wife came to the door, she had three children with her. Two daughters, one of which was still a baby and a son. They lost their father because of a dispute he didn't even want to take part in. Don't you have any memories with either of your parents that you can imagine losing because they died prematurely?"

"Naw, guess I can't remember much about them. They died when I was pretty young. Kinda remember the random villagers that took care of me, though."

I turned away. I never considered that he lost his parents before memories could be formed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"It's fine. I turned out great! I'd like to know who they were but it wasn't like I was alone. The entire village took a hand in raising me so it was like I had 20 parents instead of two."

"I don't think it's like that for everyone. In battle you see the soldier but it's when you think about what more there could be to him…"

"Ya can't think that far into it!" He threw his arm around my neck, jerking me towards him playfully. "An enemy is an enemy. You'll drive yourself nuts if you think of 'em as anything more."

That was something I just couldn't do. "How can you kill someone and then regard them as nothing more than an object?"

"Ya don't think of 'em as an object! You think of them as a dead enemy."

"That's hard to do when you're staring their family in the face…"

"Yeah, but…" He sighed. I always figured I would be annoying to argue with. "Think of it this way. If you don't kill the enemy, he's gonna kill someone from your side. That's a given. Then the family of someone on your side is going to be just as sad. If you have to choose, why not choose your own country?"

"Because no one should have to die because of the Begnion government _besides _the Begnion government."

"That'd be great but again, it's not gonna happen.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Everything I said was true but so was what he said. Our debate was a pointless one that would go nowhere. "I know."

"Hey, do you hear that?" He looked down an alleyway, I hadn't heard anything until he mentioned it. After that it was clearly audible. A small child was crying somewhere down where he looked. It sounded like a girl.

"Yeah. But from where?"

"I think one of those crates."

There were many crates the lined the edges of the houses. To find which one I thought would be a task but we found it relatively easy. Far back, the last one to the left side. Edward picked her up, kneeling down and setting her on his lap. She looked as though she were seven at oldest and blood stained her white dress. She was obviously tired and her face was pale. Edward lightly shook the leg she sat on, trying to calm her down.

"Hey, what's the matter? A girl like you shouldn't be hiding back here with the crates."

She didn't respond.

"I'm Edward and this is my friend, Leonardo. We'll help you if you tell us what's wrong."

"People were fighting… And…and…I don't know where my mommy and daddy…" She wailed louder. It amazed me that nobody else had found her before us. If she was talking about the battle…that had been two days ago.

I think Edward thought of that as well when he looked at the red stains on her clothes. Still, he kept his voice jolly. Mentioning such aloud would only upset her more.

"Well, where was the last place you saw them?" He asked her, still trying to allay her screams.

"My…my mommy told me to stay here when everyone got loud…..and then she never came back for me…"

The two of us looked at each other. Neither of us were thinking anything good. "Come with us. We'll help you try to find them." I wiped the tears from her eyes with my glove. If her parents were dead…then what was all of it for? We failed to protect. It baffles me that both failure and success are measured with deaths.

"But…I'm 'appose to stay here…"

"Maybe your mother and father can't come to you. If that's the case, then we'll just have to take you to them." I reached into my bag, handing her a piece of dried meat. I knew she had to be hungry if she had really been back there the entire time.

She ate it quicker than I thought anyone could. With a little bit in her stomach she calmed down somewhat. She wiped her own eyes, getting off of Edwards knees. "Why couldn't they come to me…?"

"Sometimes when people get really mad and fight like they did, they need to go somewhere so they can get their scratches fixed." I didn't know how to explain the concepts of wounds to a child. "Let's go to the physician's. They were taking people there last time we were here." I addressed to Edward.

He nodded. "That's what I was thinking."

I carried her the rest of the way. No matter who I worked for or against, I was going to lose.

_**The storm had grown bleak, heaving heavy droplets to the earth, pelting it mercilessly like an armies' assault. The boy knelt down, face sodden and mutilated by grief as he held the old man in his arms, clutching his hand as if to keep him from falling into the arms of death himself. But the boy knew such was impossible and quietly spoke his final good-bye. "My master…You have taught me so much but it is so little compared to what I could have learned. My life was enriched by the blessing of having your wisdom grace it and I fear that I will not be worthy enough to continue without you…" The old man forced a grin, his dim eyes closing and his tired, haggard voice piercing through even the loudest of thunder. "You will be fine, my son. Remember what I have taught you. Review…I beg of you…review…" **_**Poor old man. I think you should listen to his final request. (Yes, I know this is one of my weirder author notes. I got bored of doing the same thing over and over.)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. With school and all the details that go with it, I've found it hard to continually update all my stories in a timely manner. I usually update my stories in order of popularity, so it goes Soren's Reign, Radiating Evil, this one, and My Farewell. If I take too long with the first two, I end up skipping the last two in order to keep up to date with the most popular ones. (I determine popularity by how many reviews they get per chapter, not how many they have all together, though I doubt anyone cares.) Anyway, now that I have this incredibly long a/n done, I should probably write the rest of the chapter.**

"…Thank you. I understand." I responded lowly to the physician. It wasn't the news I had been hoping for.

Looking out the window, I could see Edward playing with the young girl outside. I could tell by the look on his face that he enjoyed the game, tossing her up and catching her as she laughed hysterically. Her excitement was impossible to miss. She giggled and laughed, pleaded for more when in his arms and cheered when in flight. Maybe they both momentarily forgot our situation. That always amazed me about people. Nothing was too much to forget, at least for a short while. As long as there was hope, joy could shine through the darkest of times unless it was suffocated by truth. Sadly, this time truth would do just that and I had to be its henchmen.

"I was worried about her when both her parents were brought to me dead. I feared the worst when no one could find her. She's really a sweet little thing. Always had a smile on her face." I hadn't noticed. The physician had been looking out the window, watching just as intently as I was. His face displayed a certain contortion of sadness, I could only imagine that he felt pain for her loss, as did I. "She has relatives she can live with. Her aunt would take her in in a heart beat."

My head picked up. Nothing could make up for what she lost, but she wasn't alone. There was something that could bring her joy in her life. Not all the hope had been silenced. "Do you think they know what happened?" I asked. "Would they know to come get her?"

"Probably not." He shook his head. "I would take her there myself, but I can't leave so many people to die. Blasted Begnion. Was it really necessary to tear apart our little village so badly?" I sunk into my shoulders. Was any of it really necessary? It wouldn't be if human bloodlust didn't dictate so, but that would never come to be.

We couldn't leave a child to fend for herself. What we had to do next was clear to me. "Where do they live?"

"Over the hills to the north. The village is right on the other side of them. She couldn't go that far on her own, though."

"We'll take her." I volunteered us in an instant. Edward couldn't honestly refuse. We had to do something for her. We didn't save her parents. We couldn't leave her to die as well.

"Are you sure that's a task you want to take upon yourselves? You owe us no more favors. If it weren't for your group we would've been destroyed altogether." He seemed surprised. The way he over glorified us made me feel even more awkward. Did he really think we did a good job? All anyone would have to do is look out the window at the destruction to see how miserably we failed.

"It's the least we could do. It's our obligation to protect the people of Daein, is it not? We would fail to do that if we left a child by herself." For once I felt like I was doing what I was suppose to. Since I had been with the Dawn Brigade, it was the first mission I had where people only benefited and no one suffered. There had been enough damage. This, at least, was something that wouldn't weigh on my conscious.

"Her aunt's name is Eleanor. I apologize, but that is all I know."

I nodded. We could make the rest fall into place. As long as we knew that much. "Thank you."

Then it hit me harder than any battle wound ever could, right when I touched the doorknob. She didn't know her parents were dead yet. I had known that, but hadn't thought of how I would have to be the one to tell her. The minute I stepped out of the door, both her and Edward would want answers. And I was truth's henchmen.

A day ago I thought that confessing to a wife and her children that I had killed her husband, their father, was the hardest thing I would have to do. Preparing to step back out into the streets, to again look at the devastation, I knew I was wrong. The most difficult thing, and now I'm positive nothing harder will come about, would be confessing to a child that I hadn't been strong enough to save her parents. Everything about that battle had been a failure. I killed a man with innocent intentions, just to fail at saving those who I had murdered him for. And now I was seeing the consequences of it,

"Sir, are you all right?" I jumped. It was only the physician, staring at me as I clutched the doorknob tightly in my fist. He broke my trance and I awoke back in that room, a few steps away from crushing a child's heart. He had to ask me if I was all right? In comparison to all those around me, I had no right to say anything but yes.

"Yes, sorry. I just got lost in thought…." Delaying it wouldn't do any good. This time I couldn't just blurt out the truth and run away. I had to watch the result of what I had done. It made me regret the day I ever decided to pick up a bow.

I stepped out. They both looked at me but I said nothing. Edward knew instantly from the look on my face. But she was a child. Facial expressions meant nothing to her unless accompanied by words. That was part of being young. But that naiveté meant to protect her was now my worst enemy.

"Didja find my mommy and daddy?" She asked me brightly. She had been crying only a short while ago. How was I suppose to knowingly make her cry again? I looked back towards Edward who only shook his head and shrugged with a horrified countenance. He didn't have any more of an idea than I did.

"Your mother and father…" I started then stopped. How does someone go about finishing that sentence? Were she an adult, that would be enough for the meaning to be understood. For a adolescent it would be the beginning of a denied realization that would grow into acceptance. For a child… for a child it has to be explained. It has to be told word for word for it to be understood. For anyone who's ever tried to discuss death in full with one of the first two listed, they would find that those two can't fully handle it, so how is a child suppose to? I felt more cruel than honest. To tell her why and how and then try to justify it… Could those all really be done? Certainly not the latter. I couldn't justify it myself.

"Sarah…" Edward picked her up, accepting that my silence meant I had nothing more to say. I didn't mean to place the largest part on him, but… I felt there was nothing more I could say.

When Edward lifted her to his knee she began to realize that the news was bad. Her face sunk and at the same time my stomach coiled. I felt like I was being tortured myself. "What… happened?" She asked weakly.

"They…." He made it as far as I had before pausing. But he didn't draw it out. I could never be so blunt. "They were killed.'

Her eyes welled as she repeated the word without fully understanding it. She related it to something negative but her knowledge of it stretched no further than that. "What does… that mean?"

"You're parents…" He paused again. "They aren't coming back. When people die, the goddess judges them and then… they move on from here."

"They…moved?" This was agonizing. The concept must have never come remotely close to her life before.

"Yes." Edward nodded, forcing a grin. "Sorta."

She grinned again, the tears ceasing to fall. "Aw! They forgot to bring me! I wonder what it looks like…"

"You're not upset?" I asked her in amazement. It was clear that she didn't understand, but her misconception of what Edward said had calmed her entirely. Somewhere in her mind, she must have imagined something to have happened that was worse than death… Children's minds really do amaze me.

"Naw. They just moved! I thought they got hurt. I'll see them again. I just gotta get there first…"

Edward and I exchanged glances and nodded. Maybe it wasn't necessary to explain as must as we thought. There was no point in telling her everything. In due time, she would realize it herself. And that was the best way. "Yes, you will." I answered her. I almost had to remind myself that she had no idea what an afterlife was at her age. "But for now, until its your turn to go with them, you need to go stay with your aunt." Edward gave me a strange look. I'd have to explain that to him.

"Auntie Eleanor? Gee, I dunno where she lives, either!"

"We're gonna take you. The physician gave me directions."

"Could you take me to mommy and daddy?'

I shook my head. "No. We aren't allowed to go there yet."

"All right." And just like that, she accepted it.

I turned to Edward. "To the north over the hills there's another village."

"But the others…" He sighed. I knew he wouldn't be able to turn his back on her. "Aw well. We'll catch up to them eventually. The Dawn Brigade is pretty easy to track down."

_**The village children crowded the man, pulling at his shirt tails and calling his name excitedly, vying for his attention every way they knew how. He laughed merrily at their joy, patting them on the head and shoulders every chance he could. The adults waited at a distance until the children calmed themselves. Then one finally asked, "Father, what advice would you give us, for these are dark times and you are truly a man of wisdom." The man thought back to his youth, that one moment replaying vividly, his teacher in his arms. He grinned, ready to answer. "Review. Everything will be all right as long as you review." **_**Truly a wise man. Maybe you should take his advice, too.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow, I guess it's been a while since I updated this. Sorry about that. I almost think more people reviewed when I stopped updating but that's what encouraged me to start again. Since I could send them a message I would like to thank ^_^ here and also I would like to thank Totalitarian again for his review… that much praise really meant a lot.**

"Heya, Leonardo?" Are you positive this is the way we're suppose to go?"

I nodded though I was beginning to doubt it myself. We had been walking for almost three days and none of the terrain was level. But I suppose that is why it was called "the hills." "Yes. He said right over the hills."

"Dang! Did he say how many hills? We're gonna be clear across Daein before long!"

"Yes…I know." It was tiring but we had to do it. The hill we climbed was nothing compared to that of the one the littlest one would have to when she fully realized what had happened. We paid a small price for our failure. She would have to pay the rest.

"I can't wait to see Auntie Eleanor again! It's been so long!" Sarah bounced excitedly on Edward's shoulders. His nose wrinkled a bit but he kept silent.

"By any chance, do you know where in the village she lives?" That was all we knew; where the village but nothing more. When we got there it would still be a hunt.

"Nu-uh. I never got to see her home. She just came to visit us."

"I nodded. "All right then. We'll still find her."

"That's good cause she's always so much fun to be with! She makes really good stew." She settled down again, Edward looking less pained.

"Man, that sounds pretty good right about now. So speaking of which, it's about time for a lunch break, don'tcha think Leonardo?"

He wasn't going to be pleased. "No, we can't. Not until we get over the hills."

"What? Aw, come on!" He stomped his foot and grew louder when I just kept walking. "Don't be like Nolan with all that discipline stuff!"

"No, we really can't." I lifted up the bottom of my sack, holding it up so that the hole was visible to him. It was right in the compartment where we kept the food….and it was torn by teeth.

"Leonardo! You lost our food?" He attempted to sound angry but the glint in his eyes showed guilt. He already knew what happened.

I grinned slightly. I felt a little smug doing so. "I noticed it after I got back from gathering firewood last night. The marks look like it was bitten through by a fox." I looked back at him. "While you were watching my sack."

"Oh, um…heh, well,…we have gold. We can always just wait until we get to town to buy more."

I shook my head and laughed. "Not that we have much of a choice."

"Are we gonna starve?" Sarah's eyes grew. Edward and I's rant must've frightened her. She had such a perplexed look her face, as if she really couldn't tell if it was a joke or if she was suppose to be scared. She stared at us with such deep, confused horror that it made me chuckle a bit while I talked.

"No. It's nothing to worry about. I'll catch us something to eat if we need to. We just lost our immediate rations. And we'll be getting to town soon so it won't matter."

"Oh, ok. I like to eat so dying from no food doesn't sound fun."

"Hnn….tell me about it." Edwards stomach growled. He was like a bottomless pit. We had what little food we had left for breakfast so it amazed me he was that hungry already.

I told them that the village was close. But what I knew was certainly different. Looking out I could see a vast expanse of many more hills. Were the village to be nestled somewhere within them would be great luck but I'd learned well that luck wasn't a factor to be relied upon. Further more I saw a large amount of smoke raising into the sky. I hoped it wasn't where we were heading to. But I knew hope wasn't anymore reliable than luck.

"Why is the sky so dark over there?" Sarah pointed into the horizon. She noticed the smoke that clouded the sky just as well as I had. Her comment made Edward look up for the first time. His face contorted into an expression I had seen him make many times before; mostly when food was scarce and he knew he'd have to go without for a while. He turned to me, his eyes pleading with me, silently asking me to tell him that wasn't our destination. All I could do is shrug. "I don't know."

We kept walking. Subconsciously our new target became the location of the smoke. Then again, we didn't know anything but a relative area anyway. And I had a bad gut feeling.

Could Begnion have really moved over the hills so quickly? We had just chased them out of the last village… but with pegasi it wouldn't be difficult for them. What could they really be gaining from all of it? Did they find some type of sadistic joy in crushing an already defeated nation? Or were they trying to make us repent for past sin by taking on sin of their own? Our sin was met by their sin, and our sin furthered in response. That was something that was never left for repose. Sin.

What did any of it really matter, the concept of nations? We weren't all that different. We accepted a different title in regards of where we were from, shared different wealth, different allegiances…but wouldn't all that disappear if borders ceased to be? If we all united under a common humanity, would it all have to continue? But the more I thought about it, I understood people's common humanity was the cause. Humanity meant to be human. To be human meant to always try to become greater than, to conquer, to attempt to sate the unending bloodlust. Borders were just a simple excuse to make it so.

I played with the thoughts in my head longer than I care to admit. Human….what did it really mean to be human? People couldn't be all dread and hatred. If that were so…I wouldn't have those thoughts. I would be condemned to an emotionless, primitive existence. And just about everyone had someone they cared for. That meant they could love. So why were they so willing to take another's life without thought. Edward was a good example in my mind. He wouldn't hesitate to put his life on the line to save someone he cared about, or a complete stranger for that matter. How was it so easy for him to kill? I almost asked him once, but I decided against it while in the presence of a child.

The best conclusion I could come to was maybe it wasn't all people. That soldier's family I met…he fought for them. Perhaps for some it was a forced lifestyle. Maybe it wasn't all nature….but power. Yes, that was a leading factor. Power. Those with power commanded people to do such things. And people, responding to their most primitive instinct just to survive and their most civilized instinct, love, listened. Not to just support themselves, but those whom they loved. It was those with power that manipulated those factors that people can't control. What did they gain from ruining other's beings?

I could wonder a lifetime and still never understand.

I didn't want to fully understand.

Then I'd have to be like them and that would be a fate worse than death.

"Hey…uh….Leonardo?" Edward grabbed my shoulder. "Stop walking for a second, will ya?" I shook my head, awakening from another one of my frequent trances. I had thought that long…we were in front of a village's gate. And horror struck all our faces.

The smoke had been coming from our destination, at least as far as we knew. The fire itself still raged in small spurts but the village itself ceased to be. Was Begnion really…capable of doing that? Was the supposed holy empire really capable of such spite…

"Edward, stay here with her." I dropped my bag to the ground.

"Where are you going?" His voice was more stern than I had ever heard him speak. The sight took even him by surprise.

I looked into the conflagration myself. I didn't know where I was going. Into it…to do something…hopefully something… My looking back at him was enough. He set Sarah down, ready to follow.

"Stay with here." I repeated.

"Ya can't just go walking into a fire!" His arms flailed as he spoke.

"There might be something left I can do…maybe someone still needs to get out…"

"Leonardo…you still can't run into a fire by yourself!"

The tension and the sight got to her. Sarah broke into tears. The poor child. If it was the right area….her aunt…

"If this was done by Begnion, soldiers could still be in the area. She needs someone to protect her."

"You can't save everyone…."

I ran ahead. No, I couldn't save everyone. The past couple of weeks had proven that better than anything ever could. But I had to try.

I had to try…

_**Misery…it was drawn to me like apparitions were the night. Light became a silhouette ever since…him. What an agonizing irony. His promises and insecurities….his fears he bestowed upon me because of his deep feeling…his experience. He breathed life into them and left me with truth, awakened my mind from the slumber that shrouded my mind in a naivety never again to be retrieved. He made me understand…then left me to feel first hand. Curse his soul! He promised he would never leave me. And he didn't…not even…he didn't even leave me with a review….**_

**Wow. That's a sad story. Maybe you could make it better by reviewing instead. ^_^**


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